we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
