Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I cockslap morals
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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