living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
