Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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