I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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