But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
