apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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