I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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