Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
