i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
