He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
