At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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