Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
