Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
