Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
