Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My feet surprised me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
