just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
