fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
