did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
