Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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