yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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