What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
