he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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