update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
