How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
