RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
