U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
