The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
