Please, let me fuck your mom
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What a dumb baby whore.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
