I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
