i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
