If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My pussy is not your playground.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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