If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
