Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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