I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
