I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
