THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
