So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
