Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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