Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
