Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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