ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
