i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
