No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
