i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
