Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
