So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
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