did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize