Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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