I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
