dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
