I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
